Some guy in Ohio didn’t get all of his order from a Taco Bell drive thru, they forgot one of his tacos. So he took the most logical reaction and drove his car into the wall of the Taco Bell. Those god damned Tacobellians, always horsin’ around and forgetting tacos, he sure showed them.
I don’t know how to respond to notes, but I only met this chick cuz she lives right next to my work. I posted a facebook status about our last conversation, which I was originally afraid to post on there cuz I thought she would find it but I simply do not care anymore. I hope she apologizes in the morning and I can continue to enjoy these ridiculous scenarios with her….cuz they are really, quite fucking amusing.
In other news, I fucking miss my friends in Jax and I wish I could move back every single day that I’m alive. I love you <333
this bitch is so crazy, i could make an entire tumblr or something dedicated to our conversations or the stories she tells me. at first i thought it was amusing, now i think i should back away slowly before she kills me. literally.
when i first met her, i thought she was some tiny, sexy chick that talks a little too much but it was ok cuz she was that pretty. i could listen to her all night if it meant getting in her pants.
then she asked if i had weed and i said i do not, but if she wants to come back to my bar i might know someone there that does or knows where to get it. so she follows me to my bar and proceeds to ask every SINGLE PERSON in the entire bar if they have weed. that was cool. so she goes “no offense but if you don’t have weed i’m gonna go home.” i was like alright whatever peace bitch.
then she showed up on this other night that i was havin a good time, talking and drinking with friends, and she sits down next to me. while we were talking, my ex shows up and even though i didn’t ask, she told me what he was doing so i wouldn’t have to turn around. now, that’s some “i get the deep inner psycho in you, so let me assist you in what i know you’re wondering” type shit. i was like ok, this chick isn’t so bad i guess. but the next morning i woke up like “oh thank god i didn’t give her my number…” lo and behold, i unlock my phone to see her new entry in my contact list. FUCK.
next time i saw her, she told me that her ex was stalking her and he leaves his cars outside her apartment building just to fuck with her. “ok,” i thought, “sounds like a shitty ex bf. that sucks” and she said she lives on the 3rd floor of the building next to my bar so she hears conversations he has outside the building. kay.
on friday night, she texts me saying “stop talking to him about me” i was like what? who’s him? and she’s like “forget it its not your problem…he is a coward thats that” and im like “your ex? i’m here with my friends dave and stephen” she goes “ok. sorry i bothered you goodnight” i was like “your ex is not in SBC at all, nor was he at black bear. i think you’re going crazy lol……..are you ok? do you need to come down and have a drink?” she goes “no but thank you” and the next day she calls me to tell me that she knows my voice and knows his voice, and that she heard me talking to him downstairs and heard me saying ‘i like her but she admitted to still being crazy about you’ “ and i was like “Brooke, i was never even outside the building, you could not possibly hear me have any conversations from your apartment to inside of my bar, WITH A LIVE DJ, and your ex WASN’T AT THE BAR” and she was like “its ok you don’t have to tell me the truth” and i was like whatever…
next time i saw her, i was with my friend who is a private investigator. so she freaks out and asks him if he can check her apartment because she thinks it’s bugged. so we go to her place and she shows me pics of her ex on facebook, and her laptop hinge is busted. so i ask her what happened, and she was like “i heard him outside my apartment telling someone he just wishes he would see me snap, so i snapped and kicked my laptop, and then i heard cheering outside of my apartment!” ….right. so then i asked her why she didn’t have any blinds, and i would’ve thought that such an expensive complex would have at least given her blinds. she said “[her] apartment came with blinds but….[she] didn’t wanna talk about it. stupid girl shit.” KAY. right. um. yeah.
so today i was at my bar and i was about to leave when she showed up, so i kind of hid in the server alley until the coast was clear, and then tried to leave but she caught me out on the street. she was being mad awkward and looking around and hesitating to speak, so i was worried that she realized i was avoiding her, and i asked what was wrong. she said “look at all those people at the bar, they’re all looking at me weird too” and i was like “yeah cuz you’re hot, of course they’re gonna stare” and she was like “no that’s not it, whatever, stupid shit in my head doesn’t mean it concerns you” and i was like OKAY well i’m going to this other bar, and she went up to her room.
bars are stupid here so they close at 1 am. bastards. so i was at home and she texts me “you could tell him i’m driving to his moms house right now” and i go “i’m at home right now” she goes “i don’t care” i’m like “but why would i tell your ex anything? i don’t know him……i’m literally in bed at home on facebook” her:”k” me:”are you ok? why are you driving to his moms house? you know that it’s 1:30 am right?” shes like “i am in front of his moms house you involved yourself for no reason i will sleep here if i have to” i go “what? you texted me?” she goes “ok wtvr goodnight”
i think i should back away very slowly lol. or run for my life. not sure. but this bitch is fucking textbook paranoid schizophrenic.
i’ve heard one too many guys get amusement out of girls being easy to pick up when the guys are dicks to the girls. like if the guys act like the girls aren’t shit, they get laid. one of these days i’m gonna walk up to a guy and tell him that i’m not sure if i’m really into him or just totally desperate, but i figured i would explore the options anyway.
i bet i’d still get laid anyway, and then every time a guy tells me he got laid by simply introducing himself and then walking away from a girl, i can tell him that i got laid by telling a guy i wasn’t attracted to him but i WAS very desperate.
then we’ll weigh out which gender deserves to be talked about like they’re easy and spineless.
or maybe i can challenge some whore to it and she’ll do the social experiment for me. oh, the irony that would ensue.
You know, my days have been getting better here, making more friends and finding cool places to go. But nothing would make this night nicer than having the cutest girl I know all to myself so I could kiss her cheek and pet her to sleep. I think I need to find myself a girlfriend. Tomorrow I have the day off and I’d spend it finding her a pretty flower :)
So I guess the root of my recent problems is I have an addictive personality. It’s a good thing I’ve always had a stubborn prejudice against drugs…and I tried researching shit about addictive personalities, but everything that comes up suggests channeling your addictions to healthy habits, like exercising. That’s a great idea and all, but that’s not really fixing anything. The cause of an addictive personality is an insecurity or weak coping abilities that result in the person turning to activities that allow them to forget about those problems. Most people have drugs or food, but I have video games, arts/crafts, and most recently I realized I get addicted to boyfriends. And it causes a lot of problems for us, and them. And when I don’t have one, I find another. I’ve been trying to do without one and suddenly I can’t stop watching Netflix in my free time. Fuck. The problem is not being solved.
Channeling addictive behaviors into productive things isn’t fixing the root of the problem. It’s utilizing it in a positive manner, but I want to break the addictive behaviors altogether. I’ve always channeled them into productive things; it’s nothing more than an ADDICTION TO PRODUCTIVITY. I don’t CARE if that seems better, something still isn’t right about it.
I just don’t know how the fuck you break yourself of addictions when literally every single activity can be turned into an addiction. Reading, exercising, socializing, everything. Do I literally have to plan out my activities every day so I only do each activity once a week? Hm. It’s like breaking the habit of having habits.
Idk what to do. I wonder if there’s a way to fix that, or if it’s just a personality type, plain and simple, and all you can do is be aware of it and aim it in positive directions. I wonder if it’s one of those things you just have to accept as part of who you are. I tend to think that you have the power to change any part of who you are through making or breaking habits, but APPARENTLY that form of thinking is a ‘symptom’ (if you will) of addictive personalities. Glad to know that’s affirmed.
IDK. Just felt like venting on tumblr cuz I didn’t wanna text anyone all of this. I’m fucking annoyed with myself though, and the lack of available information in regards to addictive personalities that DOESN’T focus on substances. *sigh*
I over-analyze everything. Go figure. I’m probably addicted to that too.
Oh ok. That’s good, I thought something was wrong. Good to know I was wrong lol. Stuff is up and down, I really don’t like being back in Stamford and me and Justin broke up, but I finally got closure on that situation yesterday so I feel like I got a breath of fresh air and I can start to move on. I’m just trying to start making as many new friends as possible so I feel like I have a life here. Then maybe things will feel better :)
I want someone who does all that cute stuff from the movies.
I want someone who gets me flowers cuz they remind him of me.
I want someone who wishes he didn’t have to go to sleep because he wouldn’t be able to look into my eyes anymore.
I want someone who visits me at work because he misses me too much to wait for a kiss later.
I want to tell him my fears and for him to want to protect me forever.
I want him to ease my insecurities without even telling him what they were yet.
I want to tell him my weird inner thoughts and to act on my quirky impulses, only for him to adore them and love me more for them.
I want someone who only wants to do stuff that we can have fun doing together.
I want someone who only wants to be apart so we can have more to talk about when we’re together again.
I want someone who is eager to trade everything we know about ourselves because it’s like a story that never ends.
I want someone who brings me home random little things he thinks I’d like, so I can do it for him too and show him I was thinking of him.
I want someone to look at me and my body like he’s never seen it all before, for the rest of our lives.
I want someone to post corny love notes and statuses on Facebook, and tell me whenever songs remind him of me.
I want someone who will hold that extra second onto every hug, like they never want to let go.
I want someone that LOVES holding my hand.
Honestly, I just want someone who loves me as much as I would love them.